It’s my fault, shame on me. I have no one to blame but myself.
There’s always going to be a situation, obstacle, or occurrence ready to set you back. That’s just the law of nature. It’s how things are and will always be.
It is up to us to be prepared as best we can, and if not, be ready to make the necessary changes to get back on track.
It’s obvious to anyone who knows me personally who Stefen Carbo, from my book, True Memoirs of a Libertine, really is.
It’s me and my actual life as a single libertine and actor before committing to also becoming a writer and creating a film, “Girl 214”.
This project has no doubt changed my life. It has humbled me more than I could have ever imagined. I’d taken so much for granted.
Gone are the multiple girls sleeping over in my luxury downtown apartment in New Orleans.
Gone is my Corvette, my Porsche, and my leased Lamborghini.
Gone is my fat bank account and wads of cash in closets, dresser drawers, and little hiding spots that I could never remember where.
Gone are the days of sleeping in, going out to the clubs, and returning just before sunrise.
There was just no way that I was going to be able to keep the same lifestyle arrangements and also put one hundred percent into this project at the same time. I had to choose one or the other.
And even with all my money, time, and dedication that have gone into my project, I’m still only a third of the way complete.
And let’s not forget to mention the pandemic, which for two years caused me to have to depend on and live on my project’s budget. Like for everyone else, it was a gut punch.
Hard times followed for sure. I’d taken a seasonal job at Amazon, and that wasn’t even enough.
To make matters worse, the cost of housing skyrocketed here in Dallas, and it was devastating for thousands of citizens who’d lost everything and found themselves living on the streets.
I myself was outdoors for months, trying to figure it out and decide if it was all worth it.
It seemed easier to just say fuck it, hop on the first thing heading to L.A., and work at least as an extra. I’m union and with a union salary, I could make it.
But I took my lumps, began working for a rideshare company, and leased one of their cars. I stayed in it until I was able to get a place, and it is where I am as I type this.
I’m back on track, my film is back on track, and everything is lined up just right. It’s a matter of procedure now and to steadily move towards completion.
That’s not to say that there won’t be other obstacles; there always are, but, unless it’s as monumental as a global pandemic, I believe I’ll have it all under control.
However, that may mean that I may have to get my hustle on; maybe illegal, but not immoral or unethical.
With the state of the economy and the lack of empathy from our government, the greed of corporations, and the cost of living, you have to do whatever it takes to survive. It’s truly a life-or-death situation. That’s a fact.
Now, with everything in line and under control, it’s time for me to get back to my lifestyle.
It’s time for me to live again.
It’s time for me to have the girls sleeping over.
It’s time for a new luxury apartment.
It’s time for a new car.
It’s time for all of those things. all while working on my film project, writing, and creating content.
It’s time for me to again live my libertine dream.
Creole Gaudet
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