DOPE BOY CHRONICLES – EPISODE #1.18 – THE HONEYMOON

Copyright ©2020 by Creole Gaudet. All rights reserved.

No part of this chronicle may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by an information storage and retrieval system – except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review to be printed in a magazine or newspaper – without permission in writing from the publisher, Creole Gaudet.


JANUARY 30, 2020

HOME – 9:00 a.m.

I’d set the alarm, but I was so full of anticipation, I awoke on my own. I turned to Sway, shaking her excitedly. “It’s time to go! Come on!”

She sprang up, startled and confused. “Huh? What…?”

“It’s time to go! Get up!” I hurried to my feet.

“What are you talking about? What’s going on?”

“You have to pack your things. It’s time to get out of here!”

The stiffness left her shoulders. She lowered her head. “I knew it.”

I halted my movement. “Knew what? What are you talking about?”

“I knew something was wrong… I knew it. Why, Andre? What did I do?” Her face was flushed. Her lower lip trembled. She was awash with tears. “I love you.”

“You didn’t do anything. And I love you too. What are you talking about?”

“Why are you putting me out?”

“I’m not putting you out! We have to get ready. Our ride will be here in…” I glanced at the nightstand clock. “In about twenty-five minutes.”

Sway looked up, wiping her eyes. “Our ride?”

“Yes!” I dropped to the floor, dragging my suitcase from under the bed.

“What? Where did you get…?”

“I have one for you too… Here.” I placed it flat, sliding it next to her.

“Like…” She smiled curiously. “Where are we going?”

“On our honeymoon. I rented us a room downtown.”

“You did? Really?!”

“I did!”

“Wait… Do I even have time to get myself together?”

“About twenty-two minutes…”

Sway hopped to her feet, moving double-time, scrambling around the room. She made a dash to the mirror. “I look terrible!”

“You look fine, baby!”

“That’s not fair, you’re all packed and everything. I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet!” She choked the neck of the tube, dropping lumps of paste into the rushing water. “I can’t even fucking do this shit right!”

“Do you need any help?”

“No, you’ll get in the way!”

“I’m sorry.”

“And it’s cold out there. I’m going to need my coat for sure…”

“Make sure you pack that black dress too.”

“Why did you wake me up so late?”

“I wanted to let you get as much rest as you could.”

“Nah, you just wanted to enjoy watching me panic. I should have known you were up to something!”


We were standing in the lobby when the black Escalade rolled up. “Is that ours, Andre? We’re going in style, too?”

The driver secured us, closing and locking our doors. As he loaded our baggage, Sway nestled close to me. “I’m so excited, Daddy.” She paused. “I feared the worst. I thought that you were done with me. I was like… Did he get mad at me about Solo? Or was it Demi? I just couldn’t figure out why.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you…”

“It’s okay. I know you were trying to surprise me, and you didn’t want to ruin it. I get it… I’m happy.”

I pulled her tight, placing a kiss to her forehead. “No one is going to come before you. Not now; not ever.”

“Are you sure? You promise?”

“I put my life on that.”


We’d exited 35, approaching Continental Ave. Sway leaned up. “We must be close.”

From Continental, the driver turned North onto Victory Ave., right onto Nowitzki Way, and then to Victory Park Lane. Sway spied through the sunroof. “The W?!”

“The W.”

“We’re staying at the W?!”

“For the next three nights.”

As the driver lifted the rear hatch, the bellman, who, in his thick Spanish accent, introduced himself as Sam.

I held Sway’s hand as we strode to the front desk for check-in. “I want to scream so badly, Andre, but I don’t want all these people to think we’re not used to being in nice places.”

“Do you… Don’t worry about anybody else.”

Sway dry-yelled, pumping her fists. “Yay!” Sam, standing behind, gripping the handle of the trolley cart, took delight in her playfulness.

We were handed our keys and paperwork. We then followed Sam to the elevators. Sway, squeezing my hand tightly, silently counted the floors as we rose to the top of the tower.

“Here we are, folks. If you will follow me again, one more time, please.” Sam led us to our suite. “And may I have your key, only for a brief moment, sir?”

Sway was first to step in. “Wow, Andre, this is amazing! There are floor-to-ceiling windows everywhere! You can see the entire city!”

“Where would you like your luggage, sir?”

“Could you put them in the bedroom, please?”

Sway walked to the end window. “There’s the green building! It’s like I can reach out and touch it!”

Sam returned with the key. “If you need anything, sir, just call down to the front desk…” He extended his arm with an open palm, pointing towards the living area. “The phone is there on the table along with the remote control for the television… Next to me, here on the wall, is the thermostat. If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to call the desk.”

I passed him two tens and a five. “Thanks, I appreciate you, Sam.”

“I appreciate you, sir! Thank you very much! Again, my name is Sam. You ask for me, okay? I am at your service.” He bowed, closing the door behind him.

Sway swiveled on her heels, beaming, walking slowly and sexily towards me. “This is like your dream… Your high-rise… And you’re sharing it all with me.”

“My dream was a good dream, Sway, but it was flawed.”

“Flawed?”

“It was missing something… It was missing you.”

Creole Gaudet

Feeling generous? If you enjoyed this content, please consider leaving a tip in my Cash App or Venmo. Thank you.

LIBERTINE DREAMS – I SHOT THE BIRD AT THE BIRD THAT THEN SHAT ON ME

They say in life that when things don’t go your way or when something bad happens and you can’t do anything about it, you should move on, let it go, and go on with your day.

However, egos and negative energy blind us, and we often further the bad that has fallen upon us.

Case in point…

I came out of Walmart yesterday. It was sunny with a light but steady wind. The temperature was like high 70s. Based on the weather these last couple months, it was a great day.

Well, when I arrived at my car, there was a splat of bird poop on my driver’s side window. It had even dripped down to the lower window sill and was encrusted into the rubber seal.

I had to get that off. There was no way I was going to ride around with it and having to look through it. Yuk!

I’d placed my items inside on the rear seat and then went to my trunk for my spray bottle that contains a 50/50 mixture of Simple Green and water. That ratio is good for safely cleaning just about anything.

With it and a towel, I’d removed the offending fowl feces with a quickness.

After completing my unsavory task, I looked up in anger at the power lines high above me.

There were about twenty or so warblers up there, and in my opinion, they were looking down upon me.

I’d decided to give them a piece of my mind, and since I don’t speak bird whistle, I’d figured I’d use sign language. Give them something they can see, you know?

So, I’d shot them the bird!

I’d raised it as high and proudly as the Statue of Liberty holds her torch.

That’s right, I was showing them!

Remember that part about when something bad happens and you can’t do anything about it, and how you should just move on with your day?

My hand, the one with the saluting insult, the one held high…was hit with a poop bomb so large that it was covered completely; even my wrist!

That’s right. One of those feathered mofos got me! It got me good!

A single shot!

What are the odds? 

What are the chances of that ever happening?  

I began to hear laughter, but there was no one around. 

It was as if karma and those birds were all in on a big joke, and I was the mark.

I could see them up there, hopping and flapping their wings.

They were enjoying themselves so much that I started laughing at myself. 

It was so good that I wished there was a crowd around to witness the irony.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t.  

But, good for me because where I’m from, New Orleans, getting pooped on by a bird is good luck. 

Exactly about an hour later, almost to the minute, two people who’d owed me money for months, called me within fifteen minutes of each other…

It was then that I realized that those birds weren’t laughing at me; they were celebrating the beginning of all the good fortune coming my way.

Creole Gaudet

Feeling generous? If you enjoyed this content, please consider leaving a tip in my Cash App or Venmo. Thank you.

The views and opinions in Libertine Dreams are those of the author and make no guarantees or promises regarding the accuracy, reliability, or completeness of the information presented. It is solely for entertainment purposes.