They say in life that when things don’t go your way or when something bad happens and you can’t do anything about it, you should move on, let it go, and go on with your day.
However, egos and negative energy blind us, and we often further the bad that has fallen upon us.
Case in point…
I came out of Walmart yesterday. It was sunny with a light but steady wind. The temperature was like high 70s. Based on the weather these last couple months, it was a great day.
Well, when I arrived at my car, there was a splat of bird poop on my driver’s side window. It had even dripped down to the lower window sill and was encrusted into the rubber seal.
I had to get that off. There was no way I was going to ride around with it and having to look through it. Yuk!
I’d placed my items inside on the rear seat and then went to my trunk for my spray bottle that contains a 50/50 mixture of Simple Green and water. That ratio is good for safely cleaning just about anything.
With it and a towel, I’d removed the offending fowl feces with a quickness.
After completing my unsavory task, I looked up in anger at the power lines high above me.
There were about twenty or so warblers up there, and in my opinion, they were looking down upon me.
I’d decided to give them a piece of my mind, and since I don’t speak bird whistle, I’d figured I’d use sign language. Give them something they can see, you know?
So, I’d shot them the bird!
I’d raised it as high and proudly as the Statue of Liberty holds her torch.
That’s right, I was showing them!
Remember that part about when something bad happens and you can’t do anything about it, and how you should just move on with your day?
My hand, the one with the saluting insult, the one held high…was hit with a poop bomb so large that it was covered completely; even my wrist!
That’s right. One of those feathered mofos got me! It got me good!
A single shot!
What are the odds?
What are the chances of that ever happening?
I began to hear laughter, but there was no one around.
It was as if karma and those birds were all in on a big joke, and I was the mark.
I could see them up there, hopping and flapping their wings.
They were enjoying themselves so much that I started laughing at myself.
It was so good that I wished there was a crowd around to witness the irony.
Unfortunately, there wasn’t.
But, good for me because where I’m from, New Orleans, getting pooped on by a bird is good luck.
Exactly about an hour later, almost to the minute, two people who’d owed me money for months, called me within fifteen minutes of each other…
It was then that I realized that those birds weren’t laughing at me; they were celebrating the beginning of all the good fortune coming my way.
Creole Gaudet
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The views and opinions in Libertine Dreams are those of the author and make no guarantees or promises regarding the accuracy, reliability, or completeness of the information presented. It is solely for entertainment purposes.