Copyright ©2017 by Creole Gaudet. All rights reserved
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“Hey, Darren, this is Smitty, man.” Speaking into his cell phone, Smitty continued. “I have a situation and I need your advice. Can you come by my place?”
“Must be serious, you calling me Darren. I’m on my way, bro. Just give me a few. I’m about to pull into this drive-through and get me something to eat right quick.”
“Save your money, I got a whole pizza over here. The delivery guy just left.”
“That’s what’s up. I’m not too far. I’ll be there in a flash.”
Smitty set the phone onto the coffee table. He eased into the couch, tossing his head back, relaxing momentarily. Minutes later, he was awakened by Darren’s familiar knock. He rose, making his way to the front door. “Coming!” He popped it open and headed back to the den.
Darren entered. “What’s up, Smitaaa?! What’s going on?!”
“Ah, man. I don’t even know where to… The pizza is in the kitchen.”
“Got it.” Darren opened the lid. He held his palm over the top. “This looks good. Whatcha got in the fridge?”
“Miller Lite.”
“You da man!” Darren removed a plate from the cupboard, tossed a couple of slices of the thick-crust pie onto it before shoving it into the microwave. “So what’s up, bruh? Are you okay? Talk to me.”
“I had a fight.”
“What? A fight? You? With who?” Darren pulled the cold can from the tab and placed it onto the countertop. “Somebody I know?”
“No, his name is Nick. He’s Iris’s ex-boyfriend.”
“Iris… Is that that young girl who don’t know shit about auto parts that you hired on at the store anyway?” Darren watched the plate as it slowly spun on the turntable.
“Yeah.”
“Aw, damn. That can’t be good, Smitty.” The timer beeped. Darren removed his meal, grabbed the brew, and quickly entered, but was stopped in his tracks. “Shit! You look like you got hit by a train! That’s more than a situation!” He studied Smitty’s blackened eye, his swollen lip, and the cut over his brow. “You got the business!”
“Is it that bad?” Smitty grimaced as he squeezed the tube of Ambesol, laying a bead into his lower gum. He looked to Darren through his watered eyes.
“You look like a damn cartoon.”
“Fuck you, man.” Darren took a seat in the easy chair as the two broke into laughter.
“You got your ass whupped. Nick must be one of them youngsters, huh?”
“Yeah, but I ain’t scared of none of ’em.”
“Smitty, we too old to be dealing with those dudes. They doing that MMA shit now. You ’bout as in good of shape as that old pickup truck of yours out there in the driveway. Is that thing running yet? Did you get your new motor?”
“I’m still saving.”
“So, how do you get into a fight? Break that shit down for me.”
“Well, we were going to get something to drink after work and go by her place to watch some Netflix. You know, make a date of it. She was going to pay for everything, but she had to stop right quick and pick up some money that Nick owed her.”
“Nick, who kicked your ass?”
“Yeah.”
“So, why were you going to her place? He knows where she lives, doesn’t he? Why not bring her over here?”
“I was going to spend the night, and she was going to ride me home in the morning. Besides, he don’t live there anymore. She put him out last week.”
“He used to live with her?”
“She put him out, though.”
“Let me ask you something. Does she always pay for everything?”
“No, you know me. I’m a gentleman. I’m old school, D. I pay her cell phone bill. I give her gas money to get to work. I buy her lunch, and one time I even paid her rent…”
“Wait, they were living together and you paid her rent?”
“He messed up the money, and she was going to get kicked out. I wasn’t going to let her be on the streets.”
“Yet, you’re supposed to be putting money on the side to get your hot rod back together. You’re not old school, Smitty. You’re an old fool.”
“It’s not even like that.”
“How is it? How long has this been going on between you two?”
“About three months, right after I hired her. We both knew right away we had something real.”
“And I’m sure that during this entire time, she told you all about Nick, right?”
“Yeah, she really needed someone to talk to, and I was there for her no matter what time it was. I always answered my phone.”
“Who flirted first?”
“She did. She came on to me. After we would close, I would train her for management. She tongue-kissed me one night, and another time she took my dick out and licked on the head. But then my district manager called, and by the time I got off the phone with him, the mood was gone.”
“That’s what she told you?”
“Yeah, plus she felt bad about it because of Nick. They were still together then. But I knew she was just about done with him because a couple weeks ago, I was behind her and had her pants down. She fine too, D. That booty is so round and soft. I had my dick all between those cheeks.”
“Did you hit?”
“She didn’t want it to be like that. She wanted it to be special. That’s why we waited for the right time.”
“And the day you got into it with Nick was the right time. Okay…you want my advice, right?”
“Yeah, I want to know what I should do. I like her and want to be with her…”
“Stop… I need you to tell me everything that happened that day from the time you two took off on your date. Don’t leave anything out, no matter how embarrassing you think it might be. In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy this pizza. Now go.”
“Alright.” Smitty added a dab more of the painkiller and began. “We were in her car on the way to the liquor store when she picked up her phone. I didn’t know who she was calling.”
“It was Nick?”
“Yeah, she told him that she was on her way and that he had better have her shit. Then she hung up on him.
“I asked her how much it was. She said that it was fifty dollars and that she was going to use that to get us a bottle.
“I told her I would put up the fifty and buy it myself, but she insisted. She said that she was tired of him trying to play her and that she didn’t want my money; she wanted it to come from him. I asked where we were going, and she said to the pool hall right around the corner from her apartment. She said that that was one of the main problems they had. He never wanted to work and was always losing money shooting nine-ball. Next thing I know we were pulling into the lot.
“She got out and damn near ran into the joint. Then they both come out, and he was handling her.”
“Nick?”
“Yeah, he kept shoving her. Then she turned and smacked him across the head. She got him good. That’s when he grabbed her by the neck, choking her, and walked her to the front of the car. Then he slammed her to the ground.”
“What did you do?”
“I got out. You know I don’t like to see a man treating a woman like that. I stepped to him and told him to keep his hands off of her and that he should have some respect because she’s defenseless.”
“Where was Iris now?”
“She had gotten up and was brushing the dirt off.”
“Then what happened?”
“This punk told me some shit like, he didn’t know who I was, but I should get back in the car and mind my own business. He couldn’t have been no more than twenty-six or something like that. He had no respect for my gray hair, D.”
“Or that like me, you’re fifty-three, balding, fat, and of no threat to him, but go on.”
“I got in his face and told him that this was my business and I wanted to see if he would choke me. Iris even checked his ass. She dared him to slam me, a real man.
“Then he asked her why she was bringing this old ass motherfucker around here that he didn’t have a beef with.”
“That was when you should have walked away, Smitty. He was giving you your out.”
“But he looked me up and down and said that all she was going to do was get my ancient ass kicked. I wasn’t going to let him disrespect me like that.”
“And that struck a nerve?”
“Damn right. I swung on his ass. I round-housed him.”
“No, Smitty. You didn’t…”
“Hell yeah, that pissed me off.”
“Did he fall?”
“No… I missed.”
“How? She didn’t miss when she hit him across the head.”
“I don’t know. It’s like he saw it coming in slow-motion. He ducked and came up under my chin. Then he yelled at me to stay down, but I got right back up. That’s when he hit me in the gut.”
“Did he get you good?”
“I dropped to my knees, D. I couldn’t help it. My damn legs just quit on me. I got a little dizzy too. I grabbed at his ankles, felt like tree stumps; solid. I was trying to shoot his cuffs to take him down, but that’s when I felt my food coming up my esophagus. It filled my mouth. I threw up on his pant legs and his brand new Nikes. They were nice, white.”
“Aw damn, man! I know he was pissed! You fucked up his shoes?!”
“Yeah, he got really mad. He grabbed me by my collar and lifted me up. That young boy was strooong, D. I couldn’t do nothing with him. I saw him draw back with his other hand, but I didn’t see nothing but a bright light after that. It was brighter than the sun.
“Next thing I knew, Iris was helping me to the car and we were driving away.” Darren struggled, holding back a grin. “She gave me some napkins to hold to my eye. I put pressure on it to stop the bleeding.”
“Did she say anything?”
“She told me that she thought that I would have had a better fight game.”
“So, she gets you into this shit and… Never mind. What happened after that?”
“We went to her apartment, and I sat on the sofa while she got me some ice. She put it in a towel for me, and I held it to my face.
“That’s when her phone rang and she went into the bedroom. She locked the door, but I walked over and listened. She was arguing with Nick again. She was telling him like it was too.
“But then she started whispering. I knew he was getting in her head again. That’s what he’s good at. She was telling him that she never had sex with me and shit like that. I think I heard her say something like she wasn’t going to or something. I’m not sure.
“Then she got all quiet, and I heard her coming, so I ran back to the sofa and sat down. She asked me if I was listening to her conversation, and I said no. Then I told her that I was ready to watch the movie, but now she didn’t even want to. Like I said, he gets in her head.”
“So, I guess it was time for you to leave, huh?”
“Yeah, how did you know?”
“Go ‘head, finish.”
“Well, she told me that he was on his way and that I had to go. I was like, I’m ready to watch the damn movie and hang out like we planned to. I even told her that we could do something else if she wants, or just chill. I mean, I understood she was upset. I was, too.
“But she said that they needed to talk. I’m like, what is that supposed to even mean? Then she’s like, they’ve been together for almost eight years, and that nothing was going to happen between us because she loves him.
“You believe that? She already broke up with him, and now she’s talking about she loves him; the same dude that’s messing all over her. I told her that she deserves better than that and that she needs somebody who’s going to treat her like a lady, with respect. A good man, not some loser.
“Then she says that he’s her man. I asked her how was she going to do this to me. I told her that I was there when she needed someone to talk to. It was me who got her moved up to management and got her a pay raise. I did that! I was so mad, bro!”
“I know you were.”
“Then, after I point out all that, she tells me that I was a good friend and that she appreciated what I did for her.
“I told her that if she was so appreciative, she needs to tell him it’s over for good and that she’s with me now. She said that she couldn’t do that. I told her that that was some bullshit. Then she opened the door on me, D. She said I had to leave now and that she didn’t want me there when Nick got home because it would be disrespectful, and she didn’t want us to get into it. Isn’t that some shit?! I said, ‘Look at my damn eye, Iris! We already got into it! Look at my face!’ She said to not forget about my lip because it looked pretty bad too.”
“Now that’s fucked up.”
“Yeah, she was smiling. She thought it was funny. I asked her why she was laughing, and she said that I was making her laugh. Nothing was funny to me, D. She apologized, but I wasn’t even trying to hear that shit. I asked her how was I supposed to get home. She tells me to get an Uber. I couldn’t. I lost my damn phone somewhere in that parking lot where I was fighting.”
“How did you get home?”
“I walked. I went to the corner and waited for a bus, and I never saw one. It was getting dark so…”
“That’s messed up, Smitty.” Darren watched as Smitty stared into nothing. “Well, you called me over to get my advice.” Smitty picked up the Ambesol, then dropped it back onto the table. “Do you still want it?”
“Yeah, D.”
“You’re probably not going to like what I have to say, but I’m going to give it to you anyway.” Darren continued. “You went out on a date with her, thinking you were going to have her, but instead you got your ass kicked by that stud of hers. All that excitement turned her on, and the spoils went to the victor, and we know that ain’t you. While you were walking home with your face rearranged, they were doing what you wanted to be doing.”
“You don’t understand, D. I’m serious. You don’t know. It’s Nick and his mind games. He’s got her brainwashed. She’s a good girl. When we’re together, we’re great. I’m telling you. If I can keep him away from her, we’d be…”
“Are you even listening to me? You never had her. Her heart is with him; plain and simple. She’s not leaving that boy.”
“You don’t think so?”
“No. It doesn’t matter what he does, she’s not going anywhere.”
“Well, why would she come on to me like that and talk on the phone with me all night? That was real.”
“No, bro. You got played from the start. She tempted you and teased you because your nose was wide open. She used you to get everything she could get. She worked you for months, only giving you a little taste here and a little taste there. In the meantime, she got you to spend all your money on her. Money that she was giving him to lose in the pool hall. You were financing both of them, and you still didn’t get the ass.”
“Damn! It’s fucked up when you put it that way. Fuck! I’m really pissed off now. I want to kill that… I can’t let her get away without… How do I get her back?”
“Hold on, bro. You can’t go and do something crazy. It’s all part of the game. Take your loss and move on. Let her go and learn from it. Just don’t make the same mistake again. She may need you one day, and then you get to blow her off. That will hurt her more than whatever you’re thinking about right now. You’re a gentleman, right? You said so yourself. Don’t mess up your life trying to get back at her.”
Smitty slowly looked to Darren. “No, I don’t want to get back at her. I love her. I want to know how to get her back…with me.”
Creole Gaudet
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